When I heard this issue was themed, ”Get Happy,” I was totally in. I’m all about happy, even through the messy parts of life. I recently received upsetting news about the health of a loved one. It was a moment that stopped my heart and knocked me right out of happy, temporarily. As I was explaining to my friend what I was learning from this moment, she laughed. “That’s why I call you the flipper,” she said. “You always flip everything around to something good.” I had to think about that. I do re-frame everything. I can’t choose what happens to me, but I have the sole power to choose how I respond. And I choose to be happy. Eventually.
The italics on the word eventually are very important. When something enters your life, whether it comes crashing through your heart, or softly rains and rains, you have to find your way through it. These are the three P’s of my happy GPS. They get me through and I find a gem through each experience. This “Takeaway” is the difference between learning to carry trash bags or treasure chest! Which do you want to carry?
Perspective
How you look at everything emotionally charges your life, and either challenges, changes or enriches it. The first thing I do when facing any incident is ask myself one question – where’s the Gem? Every experience in our life offers us a jewel of knowledge for us to carry on, and sometimes to share with others when they find themselves on the same road. When you start to look for gems from the very beginning, you’ll always keep your eye to the gifts life offers. Take a moment to think about this.
Everything starts and stops with you. YOU.
You determine how you see, feel and respond to anything.
You do.
This is a power worth embracing! How’s it looking for you? What are you finding?
Put your lens to finding the jewels in your life.
Pause
While you’re looking for those jewels, you’ll experience the emotional upheaval or imbalance. So feel them! Feel what you need to feel and then empower the emotions that help you through. After I got the news, I had to sit with it. I had to feel every part of it. I had to do this until I found the shiny part of it, the jewel. Then I let the trash fall away.
What was showing up as fear was not helpful – at all. It was paralyzing and based upon the unknown, illusions. The easiest way for me to deal with fear was to get answers. Searching for answers put me back in power. The sadness also dissipated as options and opportunities appeared. This is a pattern you have to keep working with, because fear can be pretty demanding. In helping people through the initial diagnosis of cancer, fear can completely polarize them from moving forward, and when you’re making decisions about your life, you need to be in complete power. When someone refers back to fear, I ask why they want to go there. Why are you choosing to embrace fear? I send them searching within. Searching for answers there releases the illusions and presents truth. It’s your light shining into your darkness. It’s the powerful you taking charge! Take the time you need to find your power.
Patience
Of all the aspects in facing a challenge, patience can be the most trying. Happiness comes with living in the now, without the luggage of yesterday or the doubts of tomorrow. When answers don’t appear immediately, impatience can drive you directly to misery. Don’t let it detour you from your happy place! Acknowledge that some information is still on its way, and reset your mind and actions. For me, this is a trip to the art–side. I find my peace and patience in creating something beautiful, creating a different experience. Sometimes it’s a walk or listening to my favorite music. Sometimes it’s crying to my favorite music!
Right now, I’m learning to be a co-survivor. It’s expanding my understanding of the challenges from this new place, regaining my power, and being happy even through it. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves and those around us.
Here’s an exercise to set your heart compass to happy and beginning your treasure hunts.
A Story Worth Retelling
Think about how you share your most challenging life moments. Are you the victim or the victor? What did you discover after going through it? How did it help you face future events? If this is a repeating story, you’re not finding the gems. Rewrite your story as the hero and you’ll start seeing yourself that way too. Find your gems and cash them in for joy!
