You need to know that even Alice had to fall to have a new beginning!

Do you remember the fairy tale stories we read when we were little? I remember several of the fairy tale stories of the books I had when I was a very little girl.  I had Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, and Rapunzel to name a few.  I especially remember Alice in Wonderland.  I automatically think of that moment when Alice went into the rabbit hole and fell through this dark tunnel.  I’ll admit, as a little girl, I was a bit scared.  That tunnel she went down dipped and turned.  Poor Alice, I felt her panic.  I felt her terror as she was falling down a tunnel, especially since that tunnel was so dark and dreary.   Plus, I am sure she had to be hurt.

I remember watching the 2010 movie version of story.  When Alice fell down the rabbit hole, I watched her flailing and screaming.  She was free falling down while her body was being tossed around like a rag doll. Ouch!  In that moment, I wanted her fall to be over.  I hoped it would be over soon.  But it didn’t end quickly.  Nothing was quick about it.  In the movie and in my imagination from the book, the fall didn’t end right away and it seemed to last forever.  She kept falling and falling until she hit the bottom.  I gasped and wondered what in the world would happen next. Poor Alice, she will never recover.  That fall damaged her too much.  To my surprise, at the end of her journey down the dark hole, she ended somewhere else.  Somewhere unimaginable.  She ended up in Wonderland.

Back in 2013, I fell down a dark tunnel and it wasn’t because I was chasing a rabbit.  The fall lasted for a very long year.  Although my figurative fall was because of fighting brain cancer, my body literally felt like an old rag doll at 11 years old.  My body went through several surgeries, including brain surgery.  I was administered carboplatin and etoposide as my chemotherapy.  I was given radiation to my brain for the all of the ventricle areas and targeted higher doses of radiation where my cancer had taken up shop.  Although I always remained positive and enjoyed myself the best that I can, my body was enduring a lot.  My childhood dramatically changed.  My life turned in a completely different direction.  My education took on new meaning and the health I once had was gone.  But I fought the good fight and won.

But you know what, my brain cancer survivorship brought me a new adventure and a new beginning.  I found my own new wonderland.  My wonderland presented me with new doors I was able to unlock.  The doors opened up many different platforms and adventures.  My wonderland of new beginning is beyond what my imagination ever thought.  My new beginning are like scenes on different pages of a new book that I get to write.  But my book, is not a fairy tale, it’s an adventure.  My new book is full of journeys, voyages, and quests.  My chapters from my new life include traveling to different cities around the country and sharing my survivor story from the stage with other women survivors.  Another chapter is about educating and inspiring others through media avenues about helping other children battling life threatening illness.  Another chapter in my new beginnings book is to continue to roar loud and often like a lion so I can spread the message to make a big enough difference in the pediatric cancer research world to end childhood cancer.  My new beginning included the discovery of a gift I already had… my voice!  So just like Alice, I had to fall down this very difficult deep hole to find a new beginning in Wonderland.

And so, my new beginning in Wonderland begins.

Jessica Meyer

Positively Jessica