One scar, two scars, three scars, four.

How many life scars am I yet to explore?

What are scars? How do you define them? I went ahead and looked up Google’s definition of a scar.  It says that a scar is “a mark left on the skin or within body tissue where a wound, burn, or sore has not healed completely, and fibrous connective tissue has developed.” My own definition of scars is a beautiful marking that is given to you from God, for your life’s journeys, that shows the world you have lived!  I embraced my scars because it is who I am.  I have 4 scars.  How many do you have?

Everyone has scars in some way shape or form. Scars can be physical, mental, emotional, from the past, present, and even the future.

My scars, that I absolutely love, came from my cancer. My scars are rather noticeable and are located on my front torso area.  Mostly, you can see the larger ones on my stomach.  If I am in a bathing suit or workout clothes, it is very evident that my stomach looks somewhat bizarre.  I have had them since I was 11 years old.  They are the result of the surgeries I have had that was very essential to me surviving and kicking cancer’s butt.  My scars are my medals of honor, my survivor warrior badges, and my life tattoos.

One of the big obvious scars looks like I have a second belly button. Except, it is not where a belly button is usually located.  This “pseudo” navel was from my G-Tube, also known as a Gastrostomy tube. The G-Tube is a tube inserted through the abdomen that delivers nutrition directly to my stomach.  This was beneficial to me because of the trouble I had eating, getting fluids, and getting calories I needed to live.  Basically, it was like a clear, open portal to my belly for medicines, fluids, foods, and calories. When the G-Tube was still in me, I thought it looked like the air plug you see on top of a beachball.  I could open and close it at any time.  I could attach tubes and a Joey Pump whenever I needed.  To install the G-tube during surgery, the surgeons had to make an incision in my abdomen.  That resulted in me having a second scar approximately three inches long right next to my pseudo belly button.

My other scars are from my port, also known as a port catheter. The catheter part is a tube that is connected to a blood vessel.  This port made getting blood draws, IV’s, and even getting medicine so much easier.  Usually, people battling cancer get a port to administer their chemo drugs, blood transfusions, and fluids.  This is so crucial in the cancer battle.  If you ever seen a port, it looks like a little purple heart, and they place it under your skin.  There was a two-inch incision made on my right side below my chest and an even smaller incision made above.  This, of course, left me with scars number three and four.

Did I tell you my scars are awesome!

My scars make up who I am. They show where I have been and what I have battled.  I am proud of my scars. They represent a part of my life.  They are puzzle pieces from my past.  And when you put them all together, you will see the whole picture of who I am as a person.

You know, I really don’t think I would be Jessica if I didn’t have these scars. Yep, all 4 are front and center on me.  They are obviously there and I am not the kind of person who will try to hid them. Some people give me looks, especially during the summertime.  Most just look and then stare in the other direction to make it “look” like they weren’t looking.  Some people will ask me questions about what they see.  But most do not.  I just often wonder if these lookers were brave enough to embrace their own “scars”.

Everyone has scars.  Some you can see.  Some you cannot.  What are yours?  Do you look at your scars as a bad thing?  Or do you think of them as a blessing and a good thing?  There is this saying, and I wish I knew who wrote it, that really hits home for me and puts a spin on how scars can turn from a negative to a positive.  The saying goes “Wrinkles mean you laughed, gray hair means you cared, and scars mean you lived.”  Well everyone, based on my scars, I am darn well living!

Our stars, came from our scars!

I invite you to visit my YouTube channel Positively Jessica where you can learn about me enjoying life and my new “vlog the blog” series to see more about my blog creation and behind the scenes of this article.  Enjoy!

Jessica Meyer

Positively Jessica